“Yes, I paid for the wedding”

We were just friends when you and that guy met. We were just friends when you two have started chatting. You even shared the conversations you had with him. I saw you’re happier and I can see you’re In love. We were just friends when you dated each other. You even asked me to plan the surprise for him on valentines day.

We were just friends when you became officially a couple. You were so lively to let me know about it. I am privileged to know about this first but I am also hurt.

Yes. We are just friends— naive enough that I became your planner for every event; a planner for your first monthsary, your first time to be together on Christmas, new year and even on your date for another Valentine’s day. Yes, I am such a nincompoop. Maybe showing my love for you was only for a distant place. Maybe, love means not asking to receive the same thing. Maybe, love is being stupid. Maybe, hurting myself for you to be happy justifies what really love is.

Few days after your engagement and shit! Shit. You saw him with someone else’s. You saw him kissing somebody else. You saw him grinning happily without thinking, he’s ruining you.

You saw the things I have seen before. The pain and the struggle; Things I wished you didn’t feel; Things I wished to carry for you. I want to kill him. I want to kill him for you.

I became that someone I know he never was. I did everything to win you. You’re broken and I know you needed someone to take care of you. I know other people would say you needed more time but I knew you. I know everything about you. And I know you needed me more than you needed a space, not talking to anybody else.

It took me a month to make you say YES. Though I know, for fact, it took me years to open about what I feel for you. I know you were happier with him but I also know that he would ruin you again. And I will never let that happen.

It was February 14th. We ate a lot of food. I sang a corny song. I even danced (awfully) because you told me so. We were so happy the whole morning... until we saw him walking with teary eyes towards us. I then briskly moved towards between the three of us- facing him. I felt that I was your superhero that time- ready to ace a cat fight. But he didn’t bother either. He left, leaving you devastated and teary eyed.

I can see in your eyes, you still love him. I didn’t ask you because I already know the answer.

The next morning, you called asking me for a marriage. I was surprised! I was happy! I was thrilled! I think I was wrong about my yesterday’s thought. I think you love me too.

You were so in a hurry that you want us to get married the next week. As for your lover, who am I to resist? I waited for this in a span of lengthy years and I guess this is it! I hope this really is.

I was shivering the day of our marriage. I feel like rolling on the church’s carpet. I feel something unexplainable. Maybe this was all because I had finally the dream I never knew, I could have. I was only a friend, a planner, and a lover. I never thought of literally marrying you.

As you walk on the aisle, you were so beautiful. You were shining. I am dreaming of us, having kids. I am dreaming of us, getting old together. I am dreaming of us, inside forever.

As the wedding runs through, the priest asked me; you gentleman, do you accept this woman to be your wife... until death do you part? I replied without hesitation “YES! yes father, yes!” Then he asked you the same thing; do you accept this gentleman to be your husband... til death do you part?

Five seconds of silence marveled around the church.... everyone was holding their breath, including me.

“ Yes father, I do” you responded. Everyone applauded and was relieved.

“Before we shall end, is there anyone here who is not in favor of this wedding?, “ the priest asked.

I am seeing a man far away, shouting unclearly while waving a white handkerchief- with your names weaved on it. I knew it was Frank, your stupid ex. As he come closer, his purpose became precise, “Please stop this wedding! Father, I love that woman, I love that bride! And I want to say sorry for everything Stacy, I am sorry”. The dickhead cried.

I saw you smiling and crying at the same time, looking at him. You looked at me back stating four obliterating words; “I still love him”.

I was devastated.

I want to cry.

I want to die.

I went off towards Frank as all of the audience stand. I went off towards him, taking off the “barong” , your mom gave me. He was kneeling that time but I made him stoop up and said, “Never ever fool her again. I will be watching you. I love her but he loves you more. I was a way-giver before and for the last time I will give way. You may now marry my bride”